Thoughts on Mother’s Day, Divorce, and Honor

Over the past two years the realities of divorce have once again become glaringly apparent to us on so many levels. This Mother’s Day reminded us of what happens every Christmas and birthday for our daughter.

Children learning to honor their parents is another casualty of divorce. Instead of working together as God designed parents to do, when one spouse leaves and enters into a new relationship, mutual honor between parents is lost.

It is a father’s role to teach his children to honor their mother (and visa versa). With divorce our grandchildren’s father moved on to another relationship and rejected any honor or blessing of their mother. It is not just that he does not teach them to honor her. It is worse. They are taught to dishonor her.

It is subtle in many ways, but when special occasions arise it becomes very apparent. We know the boys love her, but they lack the support of being shown how to express their love. We encourage them to make cards and to do other things to bless her, but Dad’s example is sometimes louder than our words.

We thank the Lord that our daughter has allowed God to deal with her heart. On Christmas, Father’s Day, and her husband’s birthday she helps the boys buy cards and gifts for him. We have watched her walk through really tough situations, but always speaking words of honor to her boys regarding their father.

She and her husband have shared custody and so she only sees her boys half the time. The other woman gets them as often as their mother does. This Mother’s Day our daughter bought a card for her and thanked her for caring for her boys. She asked her boys to write a blessing in it as well and then give it to her. I cried when I heard about it.

My heart aches for her to receive the honor she gives, yet I know that love and honor given to others are always returned to us by the Lord. I need to trust Him just as she has. This Mother’s Day our daughter has once again reminded us that surrendering to the Lord and walking in forgiveness is a powerful way to live. It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Love, Marilyn

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Matthew 5:43-44

 

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 48 years, we have three children and five grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 33 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope.

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